Who's Looking You In The Eye?

I had a disturbing conversation yesterday. It still grieves me.

I learned that a former ministry buddy of mine had left his ministry, left his wife, left his kids. It seems he couldn't keep is pants zipped. Score one for Satan.

My friend is a great guy. A take-no-prisoners type of leader, focused, passionate and capable. He is really smart and insightful with the courage to make the hard calls and lead people forward. He had recently moved to a larger church and was leading forward with changes to help them be out-ward focused and reach their community. What went wrong?

A number of months ago I was talking with him at a conference we both attended. As we talked about his ministry and the things going on, I asked him who his friends were in his new town. I asked him who his accountability people were. He admitted that he really didn't have anyone but, he claimed, he and his wife were close so he talked with her. I remember telling him that wasn't sufficient. He needed a man in his life that he could talk to. The conversation ended.

The bottom line is this, my friend didn't have anyone to look him in the eye. And it wasn't because there wasn't anyone available. It was because he chose to live that way. Everyone needs someone to look them in the eye. At Cold Springs Church, one of the ways we tell people they need to Connect (the second part of our core process for spiritual growth) is to have a friend. We define a friend as someone you have given permission to speak truth into your life - and then they do it.

As I think about my friend and I think about my life, I am drawn back to Paul's words written in 1 Corinthians 10:1-13. Paul reminds us of the example of the people of Israel and their failings. It is a warning to us - especially 1 Cor. 10:12 - and a promise to us - especially 1 Cor. 10.13.

If you don't have someone to look you in the eye, someone who will speak truth into your life, someone who will pray with you and for you, you are simply fooling yourself that you will escape the snare of Satan. NO ONE is so strong that they don't need their friends. And if you don't have those people in your life, don't be blaming anyone but yourself. It has been your choice to live that way. Fortunately, God's grace gives second chances. Every time we blow it in life there are consequences to pay. (Galatians 6:7-8) Make the right choice before the consequences bring destruction for you and pain for others.

And pray for my friend.

Loving Jesus Most. dc