Making Room For Grief

Grief, more than anything, touches the deepest part of who we are.  What we do with grief can either tear us apart or open our eyes to hope we never knew existed.

            Grief happens when we lose something of value to us.  All of us live with unvoiced expectations.  Sometimes they are unvoiced because we don’t even realize we have them.  Expectations we will not have to bury our children.  Expectations our marriage will last.  Expectations we will live a long life.  Expectations our community of faith will hold together.  Expectations we will always have beauty around us.  Only when life doesn’t turn out the way we expected do we realize how deeply we held onto these secret hopes and dreams.

            Right now we are helplessly watching the largest fire in recent memory in El Dorado County ravage the wilderness we have taken for granted.  There is a sense of relief that the fire has so far been turned back from destroying homes and taking lives  Once that relief is over the thought of the loss of the beauty we have taken for granted has overwhelmed many people.  The most common emotional response has been anger – especially directed toward the person who was arrested for starting the fire.  If you want to get an idea of what unbridled anger sounds like, read what people are saying about him on social media sites.  This type of anger is what will destroy us.  James warned us about this:  “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19–20, ESV)

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            James lets us know there is an anger in us that isn’t any good.  It is the anger that turns into bitterness.  Bitterness destroys us and those we come into contact with.  But the Bible also tells us there is an anger that is righteous.  It is right and understandable to experience anger when beauty is destroyed, when cancer or mental illness destroy a life, when families disintegrate under the weight of divorce.  It is not as God intended and God grieves over the brokenness in the world we live in – a brokenness we unfortunately are part of perpetuating.  And yes, God gets angry about it.

            There is another path on the other side of anger.  We don’t have to go down the path of bitterness, we can choose to go down the path of hope.  But it requires us to look to the One who is bigger than our circumstances.  Paul was trying to get this across to the early church in his letter to the church in Rome:  “If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.” (1 Corinthians 15:19, ESV)

            Paul reminded them (and us) that there is something beyond what we can see and sometimes comprehend.  Hope in this world will always disappoint us.  If your faith in Jesus is only that you will have a “good life” it isn’t going to work out very well for you.  In fact, it is almost guaranteed you are going to go down the path of bitterness.

            An essential part of the Jesus story is that he is going to make all things new.  From beginning to end the Bible is full of examples of this storyline.  We screw up, evil seems to win, everything looks hopeless, we are crushed.  And then, a flower blooms in an unexpected place.  It is the story of the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus.

            You’re going to experience grief in this life.  But are you willing to look for the flower and embrace the hope of renewed beauty in your grief?  Make room in your grief for the grace and beauty of Jesus to show up.  I don’t know how long it will take, but I know it will bloom.  And one day, it will be forever.

Peace and grace,

David

            

Simplify

            I recently took a solo backpack trip into the Desolation Wilderness.  I just needed to get away for some “me and Jesus” time so I loaded up my backpack with the essentials on a Sunday afternoon and 3 hours later I was all by myself watching the sunset at 8,000 foot elevation next to a lake.  It was beautiful and peaceful.  And I was tired.  The tiredness was from lugging my pack full of “essentials” a couple thousand feet uphill.

            I am an Eagle Boy Scout.  The motto of the Boy Scouts is “Be Prepared.”  That was drilled into me as a kid and has come in very hand throughout my life.  However, at times I have acted like “Be Prepared” means carrying with me any tool I might need in any situation.  The problem is, all that “stuff” gets heavy!

            As I went through the stuff in my pack at that lake, I kept finding things I really didn’t need at all.  I had too much food, too many clothes, too much extraneous gear.  I could have left a lot of things home and lightened my load.  It would have been an easier trip, for sure.  But I had a good reason for every item I put in my pack – I might need it.

            Mark records for us a story of Jesus sending his 12 closest disciples on an important mission to tell people about this new kingdom Jesus kept teaching about.  Look what Jesus says:  “And he called the twelve and began to send them out two by two, and gave them authority over the unclean spirits. He charged them to take nothing for their journey except a staff—no bread, no bag, no money in their belts— but to wear sandals and not put on two tunics.” (Mark 6:7–9, ESV)

            Now, clearly these instructions are descriptive of a particular event and not prescriptive of how everyone is to go out and about.  But we shouldn’t dismiss the significance of what Jesus communicates.  He said it and it is recorded for a reason – there is something we should pay attention to in these words of Jesus.  And I think it is this:  When we are following Jesus, we need less than we think.  The unnecessary things in life become distractions, weigh us down and slow us down  – in mind, body and soul.

            This week we are starting an adventure called Simplify where we are going to take a look at the things that clutter our soul.  This isn’t going to be an intellectual exercise, it is going to be a practical journey that will challenge all of us to be less encumbered with “stuff” so we can live life more fully – the life Jesus invites us to live.  Each week we will look at a critical area of life.  You will have a Bible verse to meditate upon and practical actions steps to remove the clutter.  Some will be fun, some will be painful, all will be freeing.

            I have to be honest, I’m looking forward to this with mixed emotions.  I know I will be personally challenged with some of my “stuff” I have been hoarding.  But I’m excited about the freedom it is going to bring.  I hope you will join me as we Simplify so we can live the life Jesus promised.

Peace and grace,

David

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”” (Matthew 11:28–30, ESV)

How To Be A Spiritual Leader – Only One Outcome Matters

   “And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules. You shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers, and you shall be my people, and I will be your God.” (Ezekiel 36:26–28, ESV)

            When news broke about the gunman entering the Seattle Pacific University (SPU) campus in Seattle, WA and indiscriminately firing a shotgun at students, it touched home for me.  My nephew is a recent graduate of SPU.  A young woman from our church who just graduated from High School will be attending there this Fall.  One of the former pastors at Cold Springs Church has a daughter who has taught there for years.  I anxiously scanned articles, looking for names I might recognize.

            The result of this attack was one young man dead, another student seriously wounded and a myriad of memories of horror that will last a lifetime.  Unfortunately, the story is not uncommon these days, of someone mentally ill and also, I firmly believe, spiritually oppressed taking out their rage in acts of mass violence against innocents.  The stories are always heart-wrenching if we allow our hearts to be touched by them.

Students and faculty pray together following a shooting on the campus of Seattle Pacific University Thursday. 

(Photo: Elaine Thompson, AP)

            But as I followed this story, a difference emerged.  The difference was so pronounced the Seattle Times wrote an article entitled “At faith-based Seattle Pacific University, grief without despair.”  You see, SPU is a Christ-centered university that takes following Jesus seriously and sees itself as not just a place of higher education but one who also has the responsibility of deepening their students spiritual education.  And when tragedy randomly came knocking on their door, they were ready.  In the article, Bob Zurinsky, SPU’s assistant director of university ministries said this:  “What we’ve witnessed at SPU,” he said, “has been not so much a reactive burst of energy, but rather a deep response that reflects many years of immersion in the practice of grace, worship and life together.”  What he was referring to was the almost peaceful reactions from students and staff – starting with the 911 calls and following through to the prayer vigils where prayers were lifted up for the shooter as well as the victims.

            What would make someone react that way?  What would cause someone to have grace and peace in the face of crisis, pain and evil?  Again, the reaction of the people at SPU was so different it captured the attention of the major newspaper in a decidedly secular and often-times antagonistic culture toward the Christian faith.

            Fifteen times the Apostle Paul greets and encourages the people he wrote to with a form of the phrase “Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.”  The difference the Seattle Times observed was the overflow of lives immersed in the grace and peace from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.  It was the result of people who practiced walking with Jesus.  The people who walked with Jesus experienced transformed hearts that empowered them to see life through a different lens and live life through a divine power.

            Spiritual leadership is influencing people toward Jesus so they can be transformed by his love.  Spiritual leadership is continuing to influence people toward Jesus so they walk with Jesus daily.  In this daily journey with Jesus there becomes a growing awareness of God’s grace and the peace that passes all understanding.

            So, how is your heart?  What do the grace and peace gauges on the dashboard of your soul read?  Walk close to Jesus and they will read full.  People will notice.

Peace and grace,

David

            

You Are Not The Exception

Did you know the overall odds of winning any prize in the MEGA Millions lottery is about 1 in 15 but the odds of winning the jackpot is about 1 in 259 million?  And there you have the marketing catch – it is likely you can win something but pretty much impossible you will win big.  But, because you win a little, they keep the hope alive that one day you will “win the big one.”  We believe we are the exception.

            We engage in this type of thinking a lot.  We talk, Facebook or text on our cell phone while driving because we are the exception.  We can do it safely and nothing will happen.  We drive without our seatbelt on because we are the exception that we won’t get in an accident and, if we do, the seatbelt would hurt us more than help us.  We push and push and push ourselves in our schedule with all of the things we need to do, all the long hours at work to get things done, all the activities the kids have to be involved in to grow up to be well-adjusted adults meanwhile neglecting real relationship with our kids, real relationship with our spouse and real relationship with Jesus because we are the exception.  “Others might not be able to handle it but the pace of my life isn’t having a detrimental effect on myself or others,” we tell ourselves.

            You are not the exception.

“But now even more the report about [Jesus] went abroad, and great crowds gathered to hear him and to be healed of their infirmities. But [Jesus] would withdraw to desolate places and pray.” (Luke 5:15–16, ESV)

            Leadership is influence.  Spiritual leadership is influencing people toward Jesus.  You can’t be a great leader without first being a great follower.  The life of Jesus is our example of what it looks like to follow.  The words of Jesus are our instructions of what it means to follow.  You are not bigger, stronger, better or more spiritual than Jesus.

            Let me put it plainly – you can’t influence people toward Jesus if you aren’t first following Jesus.  You are not the exception. 

            Jesus’ mission was to direct people back to the Father.  It still is.  He kept close, deep connection with God the Father so when people encountered Jesus, they would be seeing, hearing and experiencing God the Father.    Our mission is to point people to Jesus so Jesus can bring them to God the Father.  If we aren’t spending time with Jesus by reading his words and conversing with him in prayer, people will not be seeing, hearing and experiencing Jesus through us.

            Let me make it even more personal:  If you aren’t spending time with Jesus in reading his words regularly and conversing in prayer regularly (I suggest having a goal of at least 4 times per week) your kids are going to have a difficult time experiencing Jesus through you.  Your spouse is going to have a hard time being spiritually influenced toward Jesus through you.  You are not the exception.

            Time with Jesus is not the end, it is the means to being the person God intended us to be in a world desperate for spiritual leaders influencing people toward Jesus.  You can be one.  But you are not the exception in how it will happen.

Peace and grace,

David